The Sinner's Redemption
by Queen of the Moonlit Tears
Summary: Is death the answer? Can all this emptiness be healed? Would anyone ever be able to fill the void? This is the second part in the three part song fic. series.


This is the second part in a three part song fiction saga. I am going to be explaining everything that has been going on in Neville's life since he killed Bellatrix.

I don't own any of these characters, but I do own the spell Stetch.

Song: Bring Me To Life by Evanescence

God Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts

**This is dedicated to K.C. Clark who gave me the idea for a sequel Thank you very much Tiff!**

Thanks for Reading I hope you enjoy and Please Review.

_**The Sinner's Redemption**_

It had been five years since Neville had exacted the revenge that had hung over his heart. Most days it felt like so long ago that he had done what was right to get revenge for his parents who to this very day lay in St. Mungos not knowing who he was. The mere thought of it made tears sting his eyes. His own parents didn't recognize him because of Bellatrix Lestrange. It wasn't fair. He had exacted an elaborate revenge for them, but still he felt empty. No one knew it was him who had done the horrible deed. He didn't mind that so much, but he did mind that even though he had done what he suspected would make him feel whole left him feeling emptier than when he went to the cemetery. He had figured after five years the healing would begin and that the wholeness he had been seeking on that night would sink in, but it never did. Neville knew he was lucky he still had health and friends and gran, but he hated seeing most of his friends because they had all found something he hadn't….. and that something was love. He had suspected that he loved Ginny Weasley when they were going out but he knew now that he hadn't, and he laughed now because Ginny had left him for a man who was in fact gay. The very next day Ginny had found Seamus and Blaise Zabini completely naked groping each other in a broom cupboard. It made him laugh every time he thought of the way she had begged for him to forgive her, but he had decided it wasn't worth the effort since she would no doubt do it to him again. While he suspected that, that had only added to the void that was now where his heart should be he knew it was really because of two things. 1. His revenge hadn't bee everything he had needed after all, and 2. the girl he truly loved was probably married and had a kid by now. Neville knew he was only twenty-two but he had been a fool and let her go. "God what I wouldn't give just to see you again." He sighed to himself as he recalled his loves face. It had never occurred to him that he could fall for someone like her, but he had fallen and fallen fast for the one someone who had always made his heart flutter. Neville sat in the study of his home looking at his accomplishments on the wall above the fireplace. He had been awarded honors in Herbology, thanks for participating in the war, and he even had associates through doctorate in Botany. He had always loved plants and thought maybe if he knew all the muggle ones too he would feel more whole, but still he felt like he was empty, and that maybe he should have been the one to die that night five years ago. But here he was alive and kicking, so he decided that tomorrow evening on the anniversary of the fight that changes his life he would visit Bellatrix's grave. He didn't know why he was going to visit his victim's grave, but he was hoping maybe there he could find what he needed and that was to finally whole again. He made the conscience decision to visit his victim's grave in hope of answers that had eluded him for five years, and if he didn't well there was always another way to find out what he needed." I shouldn't think that way. Death isn't the answer to my problem either. I just need to think more about what it is that I need…..and maybe I can figure out what I really need."

Neville was more like a zombie than a living person. He walked around in a haze most of the time.

**how can you see into my eyes like open doors  
leading you down into my core  
where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
until you find it there and lead it back home**

(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
before I come undone  
(Save me)  
save me from the nothing I've become

All of his friends were worried about him, especially Harry, Ron, Hermione, and even Pansy Parkinson. Why would Pansy care about Neville Longbottom? Well the two had gotten really close in their seventh year at Hogwarts because Neville had tutored Pansy in Herbology, and Pansy had tutored Neville in Potions. Through all the extra time the two had gotten to know each other and became good friends. They had both simultaneously fallen in love but had never told each other how they felt. Pansy now sat at home thinking about a conversation she had, had with Hermione earlier that day…..it went like this.

"_Hermione I don't know what I am going to do. Neville has changed so much in the years since we left Hogwarts. I fell in love with the carefree, goofy guy who had really bad luck. He isn't that guy anymore, but I just can't let him go. I am so afraid if I let go of the only real love I have ever known I won't have anything left." She had sat there and tried to hold back the torrent of tears that she felt coming. These days whenever she spoke of Neville she became very emotional, and she wasn't exactly sure why. Hermione looked at her with clever eyes and listened patiently._

"_You're very right Pans. He has changed so much, but it would appear that I am the only one the noticed he changed the day they found Bellatrix Lestrange's body. You said he missed your tutoring session and he had never done anything like that before right?" Hermione asked looking into the distressed Slytherins eyes._

"_Yes. He had never been late or missed one until that night. It worried me……..why do you ask?" Pansy asked looking back at Hermione waiting for a reply from the clever Gryffindor._

"_Well I know this is going out on a limb, but I think Neville may have killed her. It would explain why he wasn't at your tutoring session, and why he's been the way he has for the last couple of years." Hermione said in a very quiet voice. I thought about it for a second and realized she was probably right. Everything had changed after that night. Pansy thought about it and didn't think it was fair she seemed to be losing the love of her life. Ron and Hermione were together and Hermione was pregnant with their first child. Harry and Draco were together and always arguing about who was going to bear their child, and if it was a boy Draco insisted upon naming is Scorpious. Harry had tried to protest but Draco had insisted and Harry had caved in after a quick snog from Draco. Sadly though we all missed on couple, Seamus and Blaise had died in the final battle five years ago helping to protect Harry and Draco. They all thought it dreadfully unfair that two men who loved each other so much should die before even getting to live their lives._

"_You know Hermione your probably right." And that's when the well broke Pansy cried for what seemed to be the loss of her love, and for Seamus and Blaise. She missed those two knuckleheads. They were dumb but so cute. They completed each other, and These days Pansy wondered if she would ever find that. She snapped into reality at the vanity in her bedroom and tears started anew. She hated all of this. She hoped Neville would come around and they could be together but she didn't know if that would happen._

"_Get it a hold of yourself Pansy. You can handle this. You can find a nice guy and settle down maybe have a few kids……..and live in a loveless marriage like your mother and father. You can do this." She kept lying to herself hoping if she said it enough she would be able to convenience herself of it. But the more she thought about it the more Neville crept back into her mind……all of this just made her wonder what he was doing right now._

Neville sat in his study it was 4 a.m. and he couldn't sleep. It was horrible what he was planning to do this evening, but he knew it had to be done. This was going to be so much better for everyone, and especially for Pansy. God he loved her, the way she looked and felt. She made him feel like a man, but she deserved more than a murderer, and that's why tonight would be the night he would meet his destiny. He sat there holding the letter he had written to her and he began to read it over for the millionth time.

My Dearest Pansy,

I hate writing to you under such horrible circumstances. When you get this letter I will already be gone, and I want you to know from the beginning that it had nothing to do with you. God Pans you were all that kept me going these past couple of years. I know I have been nothing but a useless bastard to you for the last couple of years, and I have to apologize for it. I love you Pansy. I always have and always will. Nothing will ever change that. Eve in death will I sit and bask in the glory of your beauty. I don't ever want you to forget me. I know it's a selfish request since I am going to be dead in a matter of hours. Remember that time when I "accidentally" kissed you during one of our tutoring sessions…..well it wasn't an accident I just wanted to claim your lips. Even if it was just once I want to taste the flavor that was so uniquely you. Please don't cry when I'm gone I'll always be there with you in your heart. I want you to get married and get everything you deserve which is everything. I should have never kissed you because it just escalated the want and need I have for you, but I knew it could never be, because I have blood on my hands Pansy. I killed Bellatrix in the Riddle Cemetery. I killed her out of revenge for my parents, and every other person she had every hurt. I hate that I am being a coward and telling you in a letter instead of telling you in person like you deserve but I don't think I would be able to leave you if I saw the way the fire catches the flecks of silver and green in your eyes, or the way your eyes light up when you laugh. I wouldn't be able to go, I would have to stay here with you forever and make you mine for as long as you would have me, but this isn't the case. I am leaving forever. Please tell everyone I said good bye and I love them. I'll tell Seamus and Blaise you send your love.

Yours truly,

Neville Longbottom

Neville read the letter over again for the millionth time and decided he needed to get some sleep, because tomorrow was going to seal his date with destiny.

_Pansy was rolling around in her bed tossing and turning having a horrible dream about Neville committing suicide in a graveyard. She tossed and turned begging him not to leave her. She screamed out," NEVILLE PLEASE DON'T DO IT! I NEED YOU…..I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!"She felt herself screaming out, but he didn't listen to her. She watched as he slit his wrists and then his throat holding out the bloody letter that was addressed to her. She discarded it and began to heal him calling Draco and telling him to get to the Riddle Cemetery, because if he didn't get there she was going to lose her only love. Before she got Draco's answer she awoke with the sun shining in her window. She was lying there in her bed in a cold sweat hoping to god that this was just a cruel dream, but just to be on the safe side she decided to go there tonight at 11pm._

**now that I know what I'm without  
you can't just leave me  
breathe into me and make me real  
bring me to life**

(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
before I come undone  
(Save me)  
save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life  
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)  
Bring me to life

Pansy wasn't going to let Neville leave her like that. She was going to fight for her love, and she didn't care if that meant she had to die with him. Pansy Parkinson wasn't going to be like her mother she was going to forge a new path and marry for love, not money or power. Pansy sat up and called Draco," Damn it Draco pick up your damn cell phone." She said as it rang for what to her seemed like the millionth time.

"Hello?" Came Draco's groggy voice. He wasn't happy about being woken up at 9a.m. on a Sunday morning but she didn't care she had to ask him to come with her tonight so that she wouldn't lose Neville for sure.

"Morning sunshine." Pansy said trying to sound sweet so Draco wouldn't pick up on the shakiness in her voice.

"Pansy do you have any idea what damn time it is?" Draco asked getting pissed at being awake so early.

"Yes…..Draco I need your help." She hadn't expected it to come out like that, but her voice had come out chocked and almost not there. That had gotten Draco's attention he wasn't mad anymore he was worried about her.

"Pans what's wrong? And don't even try to lie to me and say nothing because I heard that tone of voice." He said into the phone waiting for her to answer him.

"Draco I know this is going to sound weird but I need you to go to the Riddle Cemetery with me tonight…..its very important." She said pleading with him.

"Only if you tell me why in the hell you need me there." Draco said he was serious, but if she had a good reason he would go with her. So Pansy recounted the dream to Draco and he didn't like the sound of any of it so he told her he would be there at ten p.m.

"Thank you so much Draco." Pansy said and she hung up the phone and flung herself out of bed getting into the shower getting ready for a night she wouldn't soon forget.

Neville awoke only a few hours after going to sleep. He was jittery, tonight was his final night alive and he just wanted to get through the day so he could end it all. "Tonight's the night." He found that phrase a bit ironic because it was the same phrase he had used the night he had killed Bellatrix. He laughed to himself as he went about getting showered and dressed. Once those mundane tasks were finished he sat at his kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee reading over his note to Pansy again." I am going to sound like a total git to her. She is probably not even interested in me, but I had to let her know how I really felt." He said tucking the letter into the innermost pocket of his robes. He began to think of tonight and a sick smile came over his lips. He liked the idea of death, even though he didn't like leaving his friends, or Pansy. He wanted to tell her loved her in person, but the letter would have to suffice. Neville sighed." Tonight cant come soon enough." He said finishing his coffee.

Draco lay back in bed looking up at the ceiling, and then over to Harry who was lying on his back with his arm over his eyes. Draco replayed the dream he had, had and it made him laugh. It was about he and Harry being chased by a taco." No more tacos before bed. They give me nightmares." Draco said quietly to himself trying not to wake Harry. He loved getting up and watching him sleep. Most days Draco couldn't even believe that they were together, and it was sad that it had all happened because of Seamus and Blaise dying. It was sad that it took their best friends dying to realize that they loved each other, and that brought him to Pansy's weird call. He didn't know why he had agreed to go to the Riddle Cemetery with her tonight, but he knew something was wrong with her. She had sounded so scared, and that wasn't like the Pansy he knew. Draco stood up getting ready for his little escapade tonight." I hope I can help Pansy but I wouldn't count on it." Draco said pulling on his emerald green robes.

10:30 That evening…….

Draco stood outside Pansy's apartment waiting for her to come out." Come on Pansy I don't have all night." Draco said tapping his foot impatiently. He stood there staring out the window at the end of the hall watching the moon turn a ghastly shade of blue. It worried Draco whenever the moon changed colors on them. It usually brought a bad omen.

" Sorry about the wait Draco let's hurry." Pansy said hurrying out the door as they apparated to the cemetery. When they got there Pansy turned to look at Draco," I'll check the right half of the cemetery…you check the left…..we'll meet back here in an hour." Pansy said rushing off to the right half looking dutifully around for Neville." Oh god please don't already be dead….I wont be able to take it."

Neville sat looking at the clock. When eleven finally came he grabbed the bag of floo powder." I'll go just like last time." He said getting a pinch out and stepped towards the fireplace and said two simple words," Riddle Cemetery." Just like before he ended up in the old Riddle house that was an hour walk away from his destination. Neville had decided that it would be best to have the hour long walk to clear his head, as he was going to meet his fate soon. He reached into his pocket and made sure he had the knife and the letter." Good…..I have everything I need to go through with this." He said walking along the road quietly.

" Draco he isn't here…..I can't find him anywhere." Pansy said she was hysterical. She knew he had to be here somewhere but she hadn't found him and neither had Draco. She was looking around hoping just to catch a glimpse of him, she had to save him.

" Pans….I think we should just get out of here. Maybe it was just a dream." Draco said leading her out of the cemetery and up the road. He didn't like seeing her like this.

" I hope your right Draco….I really do." She said leaning on him. She was scared that this wasn't the end of her troubles for the night.

On their way up the road they ran into a man dressed in black robes who was concealing his face. Both found that odd on such a night like this. It was beautiful except for the damn moon that was beginning to worry Draco.

" That was close I am so glad Pansy didn't recognize me." Neville said rushing into the cemetery. He ran to Tom Riddle's headstone and sat down." Tonight will be the night I join you Voldemort." He said looking up at the sky imagining Pansy's face and her eyes. It made him smile as he waited for Midnight to come. When it struck he heard the bell in the old church ring and he brought out the knife and the letter. He brought the knife to one wrist and slashed it and he let out a loud scream as he did the other one.

Pansy heard the screams and broke free of Draco running back towards the cemetery," Oh god please let him be alive when I get to him." She said rushing into the cemetery with Draco close at her heels. She ran right up to the center seeing Neville bleeding out, and she saw the letter clutched in his hand that was addressed to her." Oh God DRACO PLEASE HELP HIM! " She said falling on her knees next to him. " Your going to be ok Neville……you're going to be ok. Draco and I are going to help you." She said looking over to Draco who was looking at the wounds.

**frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead**

all this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
got to open my eyes to everything  
without a thought without a voice without a soul  
don't let me die here  
there must be something more  
bring me to life

" Damn these are some deep cuts. Only one spell will do on these wounds. I just hope it will be enough." Draco said calling out " Stetch" and they both watched as the wounds had stitches in them holding them together tightly." I'm going to call St. Mungos, stay here with him Pans." She nodded as Draco walked away a few paces to call the hospital and tell them to send people to help. She grabbed the letter and read it, and that made a torrent of tears escape her eyes.

" I love you too, Neville. Please don't leave me. I can't live without you. I can't start a family with anyone but you because I can't love anyone else." Pansy said crying as she clung to his body. He didn't respond and she was afraid that Neville may already be dead. She clung on for dear life even after the other healers got there to take him away." Be careful with him." She warned them." I'll be to the hospital in a few I have to go home and get a few things." She said to Draco how just nodded. He knew that she planned to stay with Neville every day he was in there and he didn't blame her one bit, he would do the same thing if Harry was in here.

Pansy hurried packing a whole mess of clothes and things. She needed to hurry to St. Mungos to be with Neville. This couldn't be happening…..she couldn't lose him like this it just wasn't right. When she arrived back she hurried up to Draco," How is he?" She asked him. She was pleading with her eyes for good news, but she knew Draco wouldn't lie to her to spare her feelings.

" I don't know yet Pans…..they aren't done with the blood transfusions yet. He lost a lot of blood before we got to him." Draco said leading her to a chair because he saw the way her knees had begun to shake.

" Draco...I can't lose him……I really can't." She said sitting down re-reading the letter that Neville had written to her.

" I know Pans and I don't intend on letting you lose him. I promise you I am going to do everything in my power to make sure Neville loves through this. Understand?" Draco asked looking down at her. She looked up at him and was thanking him with her eyes. She was so glad to have a friend like Draco.

" Thank you so much Draco, I don't know what I would do without you." She said standing up and hugging him tightly. Draco hugged her back to show he supported her.

" I am going to go call the others. Are you going to be ok here by yourself for a few minutes?" Draco asked looking at her. When she nodded her head he walked away towards the exit going to call Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

Pansy sat there thinking about her years at Hogwarts, and everything she had been through since. She realized that all of this was happening for a reason. She was being pushed towards Neville and she didn't mind. A song ran through her mind as she sat there in the hospital and she hummed it to herself.

_**I set out on a narrow way many years ago  
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road  
But I got lost a time or two  
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through  
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you  
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are  
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars  
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms  
This much I know is true  
That God blessed the broken road  
That led me straight to you**_

I think about the years I spent just passing through  
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you  
But you just smile and take my hand  
You've been there you understand  
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are  
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars  
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms  
This much I know is true  
That God blessed the broken road  
That led me straight to you

The song struck a nerve in her. She had only heard the song once, but it described her perfectly. She had just ignored every sign that had pointed her to Neville and now she might lose him, and that scared her more than anything. Draco came back in and sat next to her waiting for the others to arrive. After an hour of waiting three people came in and started asking a million questions.

" We don't know anything yet. The Doctors should be out here anytime." Draco said speaking for Pansy since she couldn't. It absolutely terrified her that no one had come out to speak to them yet.

" This is horrible. Does anyone know why?" Ron asked looking around at the rest of the people around him. Without thinking Pansy handed him the letter that Neville had written to her, and he took it reading it over a few times." Where did you find this?" Ron asked looking down at Pansy.

" He was clutching too it when we came to his body, Ron." Draco said. Ron looked over at him and nodded. He gave the letter to Harry who read it while Draco and Hermione read it over his shoulder. They all looked out into space stunned. They didn't think Neville was capable of murder, or suicide. They were all scared for him, and now for Pansy.

" Pansy if you need anything at all don't hesitate to call me." Hermione said looking over at her good friend. Pansy nodded and knew Hermione needed to go home and get some rest, she was after all pregnant.

Draco looked up to see a skinny doctor rushing towards them," Malfoy we need your help back here for a few minutes." The man said and Draco followed him. When he got to the back where Neville was he was sad to see that the boy was in a coma, but so glad to see that he wasn't dead." You're lucky Neville, because if you had died I would have had to bring you back to kill you again for hurting Pansy." He said looking at the boy in front of him. Draco helped them wheel him into a room and signed some papers before walking back out to see Pansy and Harry." He's in a coma, but he is going to be ok from what we can tell." Draco said.

" Can I please go see him now?" Pansy said looking up at Draco. When he nodded she asked him to please show her to his room and after he did she sat in a chair next to him grabbing his hand." God Neville I need you so bad. Please don't leave me." Harry and Draco heard the soft cries coming from his room and they both felt horrible for Pansy.

6 months later…………

Pansy was rushing back to Neville's room, she had taken longer in the shower than she had meant to, and she felt horrible for stranding Harry in there like that." Oh I have to hurry….Harry probably doesn't want to be in there anymore."

" You know Neville you pulled a foolish stunt out there. I hope you come back to us soon. Pansy really needs you….heck we all do." Harry said talking to the still comatose Neville. He couldn't believe it had been six months already. When Harry turned around he heard rustling on the bed." What's going on?" He turned to see Neville looking right at him." How are you feeling?" Harry asked stunned that he had finally woken up.

" Harry….am I dead?" Neville asked looking at him seriously. He couldn't tell where he was or what was going on, but he had to ask that burning question.

" No…no you're not dead. You're in St. Mungos after having been in a coma for six months." Harry said looking down at Neville still." What the hell were you thinking? Did you really think we would be better of without you?" Harry asked anger rising up in his voice.

" Not all of you Harry…..just Pansy. I wanted to ask her to marry me until I remember killing Bellatrix. She deserves so much better. I didn't want her to have to live with a husband who had blood on his hands." Neville said turning away from the piercing look coming from Harry's emerald eyes.

" We'll I guess you can tell her that, but first let me tell you Neville Pansy has sat by your side every day since you got put in here. She doesn't want to be with anyone else. She loves you and only you…..think about that." Harry said leaving Neville alone with his thoughts.

" NEVILLE YOUR ALIVE!" Pansy said running over to his bed, and she kissed him full on the mouth." Don't ever scare me like that again." She said looking down at him with eyes full of adoration, and relief.

" I promise Pansy I won't ever leave you again." Neville said happy that she was so glad to see him.

Three days after waking up……

Neville was released from the hospital and on that day he proposed to Pansy who happily accepted. They invited there friends to their wedding which took place a year after his attempted suicide.

" Pansy come here." Neville said from in the kitchen. His wife poked her head around the corner looking at him.

" Is something wrong dear?" She asked looking into his eyes.

" Come here." He said signaling to her with his finger.

She walked over to him and stopped in front of him. As soon as she was in reach Neville wrapped his arms around her and kissed her with as much passion as he could muster. He loved this woman with all of his heart and he wanted her to know it with every breath that he took." I love you Pans." He said moving to kiss her neck.

She smiled at her husband and looked into his eyes," I love you too sweet heart." She said bringing his lips to hers so she could kiss him again." And don't you ever forget that I love you….or I might just have to kill you myself." She said in between kisses. Neville nodded sweeping her off her feet as he carried her up to bed.

**(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
before I come undone  
(Save me)  
save me from the nothing I've become**

(Bring me to life)  
I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside   
(Bring me to life)

**The Final Part to this series will be up as soon as I can finish it! Thanks for Reading!**


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